# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
