so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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