Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
