remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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