did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he puts the penis in happiness.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
