TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
