yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
