I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
