Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
