Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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