you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize