I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize