In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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