In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
