Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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