Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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