I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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