I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
