Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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