Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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