The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
whose parrot is this?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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