i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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