Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
