Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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