i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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