he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
