Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
