The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
