oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
