Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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