Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
