I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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