no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just want nice things and good sex
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
