Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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