Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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