If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
