Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...