Texts From Last Night

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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  Where are you?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  A place I should not be.

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  (623): Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors. (1-623): Where are you? (623): A place I should not be. http://tfl.nu/jfq9
  Replies (19) Good night (3986) Bad night (750)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger

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  (864): I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger http://tfl.nu/bdgv
  Replies (10) Good night (3011) Bad night (885)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?

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  (651): I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl? http://tfl.nu/nlrb
  Replies (38) Good night (6749) Bad night (1801)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level

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  (256): just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level http://tfl.nu/5gsk
  Replies (8) Good night (3032) Bad night (1115)
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  (323): View more from California

  He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated

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  (323): He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated http://tfl.nu/z16t
  Replies (7) Good night (3212) Bad night (947)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.

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  (604): My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs. http://tfl.nu/5va8
  Replies (15) Good night (2467) Bad night (1029)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.

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  (479): My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day. http://tfl.nu/2m2t
  Replies (13) Good night (2809) Bad night (769)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm on the struggle bus

  (847): View more from Illinois

  just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers

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  (847): I'm on the struggle bus (847): just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers http://tfl.nu/5dpp
  Replies (4) Good night (1486) Bad night (603)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking

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  (787): Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking http://tfl.nu/wzvh
  Replies (3) Good night (1099) Bad night (662)
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  (845): View more from New York

  lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you

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  (845): lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you http://tfl.nu/altf
  Replies (5) Good night (2051) Bad night (878)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.

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  (609): Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order. http://tfl.nu/89fj
  Replies (8) Good night (414) Bad night (1206)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.

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  (503): jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons. http://tfl.nu/trxl
  Replies (2) Good night (908) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.

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  (775): That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed. http://tfl.nu/y3pb
  Replies (9) Good night (392) Bad night (1068)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.

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  (570): Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid. http://tfl.nu/yx4k
  Replies (1) Good night (873) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.

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  (312): I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now. http://tfl.nu/q74w
  Replies (0) Good night (237) Bad night (592)

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