so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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