so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
