there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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