how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
PS: I just woke up from my shower
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize