Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
