Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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