i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
