Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
