What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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