I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
