I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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