so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
