I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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