i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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