Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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