I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
