She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
