marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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