Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
