I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
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I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
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My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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