Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
