It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
