So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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