So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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