Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
