No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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