in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
