yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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