I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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