oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Are we still banned from the library?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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