please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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