Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
being pregnant is like rehab
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
