Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
