My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
